BatBitch: January 2008

Thursday

Search but No Rescue...

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

I peered out the window at the snowy peaks below us. "No."

"Do you have any idea where in all this your fugitive is?"

"He was last seen just outside the Lukla area."

"Lukla ... why does that sound so familiar?"

I busied myself looking out the window.

"Fuck. It's the runway that ends in a mountain."

"You see it yet?"

"What's that over there?"

"That," Indy turned the plane in the direction I was pointing. "Would be it."

Flight

"Sweet, when did you get this?" It was one of the new microjets. I didn't even know they were selling them yet.

"Let's just say a friend of mine gave it to me." Indy motioned for me to board ahead of him. I had to duck to clear the doorway. "God I love that skirt."

Wednesday

Finder's Fee

"Indy, do you have any extra handcuffs I could borrow?"

"Babe." The grin he sent me nearly made me forget what I was doing. "I'll grab some extras. What are we up to now?"

I snagged several grenades and shoved them into my pack. "Finding a missing person."

"That's very noble of you." Indy gave me a hand up off the floor.

"He doesn't want to be found for a reason."

Tuesday

PMS

There. I feel so much better.

Fucking Off

Nobody out here but me and the Swedish Olympic Squirrel team.

Beautiful fucking day...

Monday

Get Down!

Boogie til ya puke!

Sunday

Choices - 3

"What the fuck?"

I find myself, once again, standing of the edge of a cliff ...

"Fuck this shit."

Lemmings

They deserve it, if they can't figure it out on their own.

Saturday

Choices - 2

Anyone care to join me?

Friday

Choices

I find myself standing on the edge of a cliff.

Question is, do I turn around, or do I fly?

Thursday

Stress Relief

"Babe, that isn't the president, is it?"

"No. No of course not. Ha. And that's not Blakey either. No way."

BaU - 9

"I fucking hate these little fuckers." I threw my mug and beaned one towards the far side of the room. Then I raised the gun and starte blasting.

"What the hell are they?" Hermit swung his hammer, bashing on off the side of the platform.

"Mutant Spartan clones."

"I should have guessed..."

"Whoa, nice shooting Tex."

I glanced at Indy, and saw that he was laughing at me. I was sorely tempted, in that moment, to blast that grin right off his face. "You! You sent these little bastards over here."

His grin turned wicked. "Yup. All of them."

Wednesday

BaU - 8

"Fry yer Gizzard!"

What a touching toast. I raised the tankard towards my mouth anticipating the lush rich flavor of whatever wine the Hermit had chosen when I heard a odd scuffling sound.

"Did you hear something?"

"Rats."

Herm would know, it was his place, after all.

"INDY SENT US!!!"

BaU - 7

"Oh for FUCK'S sake Herm, where in the HELL are you taking me?"

"Not much farther ya impatient cunt."

"Here, see? Coolest weapon I've seen in a long time."

I jumped for it, but Hermit held it out of my reach. "HERM. What's it do? Let me see it."

"It fires a concentrated energy beam of some kind. Heh. Can you jump any higher?"

I finally snagged the thing out of his hand. "HA!"

It fit perfectly in my palm. Felt warm and comforting there. "What's this button do?"

"Awesome. That's a great hole it punched through you Herm. Did it hurt?"

"Fuck off."

I decided to keep the gun. "Quit yer whining, I'm hungry and I'm looking forward to something vintage to go with it." I turned and started walking back towards the main part of the complex.

"Bitch."

Tuesday

Business As Usual

"Get your ass moving Bitch, I ain't waiting for you."

"Piss off."

"Slacker!"

"Fuck off."

"Fuck me woman, could you get any slower? Get your ass down here already."

"Bombs away!"

Heh. So far so good. I do so love causing the Hermit to lose his temper. Maybe he'd explode again. That was a lot of fun.

Business As Usual

"Oh come on Herm, put the gun down, you're not going to use it." I closed the distance between us. "Hey look, my hand just fits in here."

With a grunt, Hermit stowed his gun on a rack at the side of the room. I took a closer look at the sharks while he rummaged around in a cabinet.

I heard him return, and didn't even bother turning around.

"Please, you're not going to hammer me either." I waited a minute, then walked over to him and placed my hand on his chest.

"Forget it Herm, or I'll knee your gonads into outer space."

"Damn it Bitch! It took three weeks for them to grow back the last time you did that to me." He lowered the club. "Where the hell have you been anyway?"

I shrugged. "Busy."

He blew a raspberry at me, then started lumbering out of the room. "Come on, I've got something to show you."

Business As Usual

So I'm sticking my metal hand into the corridor lighting unit. I just love those little balls of light that it makes. So what if it totally fucks the lights up? It's just my way of saying hi.

Huh? Who me? I'm so not thinking of sticking my fist into the power generator. Well okay, maybe just a little.

"Hey Herm, long time no see. Love the sharks, they're new since I was last here."

Hermit rarely shot me. Never could tell when the mood would strike him though.

Monday

Business As Usual

Okay, so I didn't really need to take that route, but it was fucking FUN!

Business As Usual

This is always fun

The sneaky bastard is always changing the traps in the entrance, but I know his secrets. All I have to do is find where he hid the key this time...

Business As Usual

Indy woke me at some ungodly hour, fucked the living daylights out of me, handed me this uber-cool cell phone, and left on some mission or other.

I tried to go back to sleep. Wasn't working, so I dragged my ass out of bed and got ready for the day.

Once I was reasonably awake, it occurred to me that I hadn't been to see the Hermit for a couple of months, and I really should drop by.