"Get your ass back behind the bar Ahab."
He turned his chubby little face up towards me and smiled. "Please, call me Ishmael."
"Only if you get back behind the bar."
I stared at him for several moments before he shrugged and resumed his place at the bar."Okay Ishmael," I climbed down and narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm looking for the great white whale, and I've been told you know where to find him."
"You don't want to find that demon." Sweat popped out along Santa's hairline.
"Actually, I specialize in demons." I leaned across the bar and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "Now where can I find him?"
He glanced around wildly, then bent and placed his mouth right against my ear.And whispered to me.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I checked his expression, the way his eyes were wide, the heavy breathing. They all said the man was telling me the truth. And a truth that scared the hell out of him. "Oh my fucking God... "
4 comments:
I have a feeling Bad Santa's gonna be of little help. Kick his lard ass!
Actually ...
But I'll kick his ass for the hell of it anyway. ;-)
Why not, right? It's all in good fun.
Really good fun.
Ooooh, I've got some new tools. I could practice my torture techniques on him. :)
Post a Comment