BatBitch: 2007

Monday

Happy New Year Everyone!

Hope 2008 is your best year yet!

Sunday

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 9

Shit! Indy and I jumped at the same time, each narrowly avoiding the spinning blades that shot out of the ceiling and floor. We glanced at each other, feeling the building vibrate around us, and started to run.

The vibration turned into a teeth shaking rumble, just before a section of wall opened and a giant stone ball started rolling towards us.

"Why the hell didn't your father set these off?" I jumped over a chunk of rock that had fallen from the wall.

"Maybe something stuck." Indy shrugged as he rounded a corner then grabbed my arm and barely snagged me out of harms way as several spears blasted from the wall.

"Watch out for ninjas!" He yelled as we careened through the doorway leading outside.

We both removed our weapons as we raced across the barren ground.

"Spikes!" I jumped, scanning for any threat, then continued to run.

A high pitched whine gained in volume, echoed off the walls and hills around us.

"If that's what I think it is..." Indy latched onto my arm once again, and started dragging me towards a rounded mound of stone.

To be continued...

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 8

"Oh great, we get to search a bunch of holes." Outside of the ninjas, this was turning out to be one boring adventure.

"No, we just follow his trail to the hole he entered." Indy smirked at me. Smirked, I tell you.

"Monty, I'll take hole number two."

"Babes, you can have what's behind hole number two, or you can trade your picks and your birthday candles for whatever is inside hole number four."

"Fuck that, I'm keeping my picks."

"Oh look, there's an empty room in here."

We wandered through several empty rooms, the boredom increasing until I was fantasizing about all the ways I was going to torture Indy. Not that there was anything new with that.

"Well, this is kind of creepy."

I looked around at all the luminaria that lit this inner sanctum.

"After you." Indy motioned to a set of stairs.

"Is there supposed to be something up here?" I gawked at a strange chair set against the far wall.

"Fuck. Dad's been and gone. He must have the bone with him."

Just then a loud crash sounded somewhere overhead. I stepped into Indy's body, his hand automatically grasping my hip. His eyes, when they met mine were lit with that inner fire I usually only saw during sex. Or fighting.

Then he smiled, and I could feel the adrenalin spiking into my system. "I've got a bad feeling about this..."

To be continued...

Saturday

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 7b

"The birthday candles were a nice touch. And did you hear him talk when you started lighting them?"

I turned into Indy's body. "Do you have any idea how hot you are when you're torturing someone?"

His arm came around me. "He's still alive, you know. Think he has anything more to say?" Our eyes met, and held.

I snagged the archeologist by the back of the head and planted my mouth on his.

"Fuck me, Indy, right now, or I'll--"

Next thing I knew we were rolling around on the ground, eating at each other, fighting to get our clothes off.

To be continued...

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 7a

"I'll take one of those picks now."

"Here you go."

"Oh Indy, you had my initials carved into it. That's so sweet."

"I bought you an entire set."

"You are so getting your brains fucked out for this later."

To be continued...

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 7

Indy picked up his father's trail, and we started tracking him through the hills.

We'd been walking a while when I saw it. Him? Whatever the fuck it was. "What the fuck is that?"

Indy grabbed me, or I would have walked right up to the oddity. "I think he's supposed to be a ninja."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. What, is he a retard or something?"

Indy snorted. "He's something, all right. I say we have a nice little chat with him."

Indy dug in his pack, removed a set of dental tools and waggled them at me.

"Great idea!"

To be continued...

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 6

Damn. The place was crawling with these guys.

I kept an eye on Indy while I continued to blast away at the ninjas. Wouldn't do to shoot him.

Then, just as quickly as they attacked, it was over.

I stood, panting, looking over the destruction, feeling great. Until one minor fact occurred to me. "Indy, where's your father?"

To be continued...

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 5

The ninjas dispersed across the area with a precision that I might have admired, if their intentions hadn't been to kill me. Then again, someone was usually trying to kill me. I felt a wonderful surge of adrenalin, winked at Indy, snagged my guns, and started firing.

It was like a fucking shooting gallery. One enemy would drop, and another would pop up in his place.

Now this was what I called an adventure.

To be continued...

Friday

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 4

Now I've never been on one of these artifact finding missions before, but this one really blew. I had to wonder if they were all this fucking boring. "Hey guys, in case you haven't noticed, there's nothing here."

"Shhh...I'm not sure we're alone." Indy waved a hand in my direction.

"I've got that same feeling..." his father added.

"I vote we go for a beer." I looked around the empty room.

"What did you bring her along for anyway?" Indy's dad made a face at me.

I just raised my eyebrow at the man. I mean...really.

"Hey guys look, there's another boring empty room through this doorway."

"Dad, did you tell anyone what you were coming after?"

Dad's expression turned outraged. "Son, I do know better than that."

The two men stared at each other for a minute. "Just that girl in Thailand, but we'd been driking all day."

We crossed the next room, then Indy directed me outside, and towards a stairway. I'd just started up when a donkey ambled past. "You're right, we're not alone." I scrunched my face at Indy's father, then continued up the stairs.

Indy halted at the first turn, "Come on dad."

"It's just...I have this feeling."

I had a feeling too. A sharp pain in my ass where the older man was concerned.

I left the two men to hash out thier feelings, and continued on towards the top.

And found a weird, religious site, of some sort. Everything you'd need for a decent human sacrafice. Except for some nice edged weapons to take care of the sacrificing part.

Indy got his book out, read a little, then headed for the mound to the left of the altar. "There should be a stone inside here that will provide us with a clue to the location of the Bone of Destiny."

"Son, that feeling is growing stronger."

I sauntered over to Indy's side. "You don't think he's talking about all the ninja's hiding behind the altar do you?"

"With him, who knows?" Indy bent and reached into the hole.

"Huh. Unless they do something, what's the big deal?" I shot a look at Indy's father.

"Isn't one. Ah ha." Indy's lips curved in a smile of success.

Just as the ninjas decided to do something.

To be continued...

Thursday

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 3

"This is freaky cool." I stood in the giant doorway, anxious to see what lay inside. There had to be a reason the doorways were this big, after all.

"Do you think it's safe to leave my vehicle like that?" I heard Indy's father say behind me.

"Just as safe as would be if you were with it." I also heard the impatience in Indy's voice.

We ventured into the structure, then took a left into the first room.

"What the fuck is your father supposed to be anyway, a boy scout?"

Indy grimaced at me before turning to take in the rest of the room.

"Did you bring a map son?"

He glared at his father as he removed a small, thick book held closed with rubberbands. "Something better. What about you?"

"Well...I...I left it in the vehicle."

"Then I suggest you get it." Indy wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "We'll just do a little...exploration while you do."

I have no idea what his father said to that as Indy dug his fingers into the soft flesh of my ass and captured me with his kiss.

To be continued...

Wednesday

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny - 2

"Damn it, I'm hearing that sound again."

I concentrated, trying to hear what Indy was hearing. "I hear something...but it sounds like it's ahead of us."

We continued forward, more slowly now than before. Just as we were nearing the end of the channel, Indy stopped again.

"What is it?" I flicked a glance at him and caught the wry curve of his lips. "You're just copping a feel, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "I'd fuck you right here, if I had time."

I was thinking we had plenty of time and started working on his belt when he trapped my hands between his.

"Look over there." He jerked his chin in the direction he wanted me to look.

"Who the hell is that, and what is he driving?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Indy kept one of my hands in his and led me out into the open.

"Fuck me, would you look at that?" I dug my heels in, my mouth hanging open at the sight of the building carved out of the rock itself.

"Come on, you can look at that later." He started dragging me towards the stranger and his machine.

He pulled me to a halt after we'd crossed in front of the vehicle, but didn't let go of my hand. I took that as a very bad sign.

"Well?" I raised a single eyebrow at him.

"I might ask you the same question Junior."

I shot a look at the new guy.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Indy glared at the other man.

"Same thing you are, I'm here for the Bone of Destiny."

Indy cursed under his breath for several moments. "Fine, you can join us."

"What?" The stranger and I said at the same time.

"Why the fuck would we want that old guy along with us?" I narrowed my eyes at Indy.

"Old guy?"

Indy fired a scathing look at the man and waited until he'd stopped grumbling. "Because he's my father."

To be continued...

Indiana Jones & the Bone of Destiny

"Come on babe. Just got word on an artifact, and you're coming with me."

I raised my eyebrow at Dr J, thinking an adventure sounded wonderful, but I remembered the outcome of our last one.

"You're not thinking of leaving me naked somewhere again, are you?"

"Oh, I'll be getting you naked, but I won't be leaving you anywhere."

Sounded fine to me, so I hopped into his sidecar.

An hour later both the motorcycle and us were on an trans-Atlantic flight.

I just knew I shouldn't have slept the entire flight. I had no fucking idea where we were. And there sure as hell wasn't anything we were driving by to tell me.

"Where are we going?"

"What?"

"I said, where are we going?"

"What?"

"I said...I'll let you take top for a month if you tell me where we are going."
Okay, so I whispered that time.

"Petra."

I'd remember this, too.

We had to leave the bike when we got to a series of narrow clefts.

"Shh...did you hear something?"

Dr. J put his hand out and stopped me. We stood there listening for a few minutes, but didn't hear a thing.

Little did we know...

To be continued...